Sentences you don’t want to hear when going through security at an airport.

“Hello sir, I’m from Special Branch, could you step into this room.”

Last Sunday morning this was the sentence spoken to me. Once my laptop, phone, wallet, change, newspaper and book had gone through the scanner at Liverpool airport.

The guard asked to swab my laptop, no problem there, while this was going on something else in my plastic tray had caused concern.

The item of interest was swiftly removed. I was approached, asked for my boarding card. This was placed in the item and taken to another desk, behind high screens in the corner of the room.

Laptop returned I approached the screened desks to get the item of concern returned.

“ Not at the moment sir, we need someone senior to take a look at it”

I waited, colleagues waving as they made their way for coffee and the departure lounge.

After a few minutes a light grey suited man approached me. He then uttered the sentence that puts the fear of God into any overweight, grey haired, middle-aged broad-minded British European with a clear conscious.

“ Hello sir, I’m from Special Branch, could you step into this room”

I was taken into a classic interview room. Three chairs, table, and to my eye nothing else.

Passport taken, the item of concern was placed in front of me on the table.

The man from Special Branch left with my passport. Five minutes or so later another head popped round the door.

“ He wont be long sir, sit tight.”

Making a dash for the plane and freedom really had not crossed my mind.  Anyway I had no passport.

Ten minutes can take a hell of long time to pass. Endeavouring to give an appearance of no concern to the hidden cameras that my imagination had found in every bare corner of the room.

I read the same sentence on the sports page over and over again.

Special Branch returned.

“ You can go now, sir”

 Item of interest returned.

I left the room to rejoin my colleagues.

Head spinning with what ifs. What have they done, have they bugged my house, hacked my computer. Do they know I once read a copy of The School Kids Oz in the playground at school?  I like the Alabama 3, never wear a tie and dream of living off the grid.

Realising these were pointless concerns as the strangeness of the situation washed over me.

Ladies and Gentleman the item of such interest was the book I was reading.

A book picked up from a market stall in Milnthorpe for £2.50. Written in 1974, by a pair of Swedish writers Majsjowall and Per Wahloo. Set in Sweden, the main character was a police officer, the last in a series of 10.

The authors used their books to highlight social issues in Sweden at the time.

Me I had seen Wallender on the TV and the book caught my eye.

 Yes the title of the book is The Terrorists. There is a picture of a comedy bomb on the cover.

I can only imagine that it was this image that the x-ray machine picked up, alerting Special Branch.

I must raise my hat in respect to security at Liverpool for such alertness; our flying experiences will surely be much safer in future.

On the other hand, a book is a book, a flick through the pages should reveal if the middle has been cut out. Or was it that maybe the title gave the impression I was reading a terrorist manual.  Or was it thought to be subversive and content inappropriate for these times.

The book is now finished, and thoroughly enjoyed and will get a high recommendation from me.

I can assure you it remained well tucked into my luggage for the return Journey.

Come to think of it there is a car I don’t recognise been parked outside our house for a couple of days, with a shadowy figure in the passenger seat.

Are they watching me now?

 item of interest